‍**Levels of need in relationships are different - not only for sex, but also for everyday things. This makes it all the more important to know them and deal with them.**

Sometimes there's just something wrong. Johanna wants more sex, but Larissa doesn't feel like it right now. It's much more important for her to do something, going to restaurants and the cinema is very important to her. But Johanna would much rather stay at home with her and spend the evening on the couch. What is the reason for that?

How do needs work?
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Needs are distributed differently in relationships. There is a person with a higher level of need and a person with a lower level of need, depending on what the relationship is about. In our example, Johanna is the person with the higher need level for sex, while she is the partner with the lower need level for activities.

The different levels of need always create a dynamic in a relationship. Because the person with the lower level is also always the person who has control over the respective area. Johanna has to adapt to Larissa during sex, after all, she cannot and should not persuade her partner to do something she does not want to do. As a result, Larissa can often feel pressured when it comes to sex, which tends to make her want it even less. Johanna, on the other hand, feels that she has to take the initiative more often. Larissa is in control here, because Johanna has to adapt to her. But it doesn't feel good for her yet. How can Johanna and Larissa find their way together now?

Desire level: How do we find each other?
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A first important step is to realise that there are different levels of needs. When both are clear about their need levels, they can then talk about them and find solutions together. It is important that both partners respect each other and accept each other's wishes without judging each other.

Do you feel that you and your partner just don't get along on the topic of need level? Book a trial session with one of our coaches!

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If one of two partners in a relationship wants more sex than the other, it is most likely due to different levels of need.

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Need level: Why we want differently