**Sex remains one of the most important leisure activities for people. Sex connects us with each other, helps us to relax and creates new life. But sex isn't always easy, doesn't work at the push of a button, and can sometimes fade into the background, especially in long-term relationships. With our eleven tips, you can succeed in giving your sex life more spiciness again.**

## Preparation is everything

#### 1. Break out of the routine

Humans are creatures of habit. Whether it's eating, sleeping or having sex, we do what we're used to. Yet it can be exciting and exhilarating to try new things. Try to break out of your sex routine and go new ways. Your relationship will thank you for it! For example, you could set a date by which you will each make a list of new things you could try. Then, together, you'll go through your lists and pick out what you'd like to try.

#### 2. Explore needs

To better engage in sex, it's important to know and pay attention to your needs. This is true not only in the sexual sense, but for your entire relationship. When you know your needs, you can communicate them.

#### 3. Talk about what you like (and don't like).

Even though it might be hard at first: an important basis for good sex is the exchange about preferences, interests and no-go's. (This is not only true for relationships! (This is not only true for relationships!). Because only if you know what you like, you can live it out. Try to create an atmosphere in which you feel safe and talk about sex. If you are too embarrassed, you can also get a coach to help you.

#### 4. Give sex space and time

Sex needs space, both time and space. Try to create this space by putting aside the things that can kill pleasure. These include, for example:

- Ubiquity of smartphones and social media.
- Stressors like too much work or messy surroundings
- Uncomfortable factors such as feeling hungry or full, exhausted, unbalanced

You don't have to give up everything right away. It is enough to create small free spaces in which you consume less and have more time for your relationship.

## Sex tips in practice

If you follow these three tips, you will be well prepared to give new impetus to your sex life. Enclosed are some more tips for practice.

#### 5. Take on roles

You could try having an affair. But with your partner. Have the other person ring the doorbell, open it and pretend to be someone else. This way you can test taboos in your mind without breaking them.

#### 6. Change of scene

A change of scenery can also help you spice up your sex life. It doesn't always have to be the bedroom. Try new places. The main thing is not to have sex where you normally do.

#### 7. Keep your clothes on

Instead of routinely taking off your clothes, you can try leaving some of them on (we're not necessarily talking about socks). If parts of your body are still covered, there is still room for fantasy - that's where sex (also) takes place.

#### 8. Change the position

Another tip to break out of your sex routine: try new positions! Elephant position, butterfly position, glowing juniper or turtle position: hundreds of positions are described in the millennia-old Kamasutra alone. Try them out - there's bound to be one for you.

#### 9. Focus on your senses....

... and block out others. You could blindfold yourselves, or turn off your hearing with headphones. This way you can focus on each other's senses while enjoying sex.

#### 10. Try sex toys.

Vibrators, penis rings, strap-ons, we-vibes, plugs, love balls... the list of sex toys is long. And wants to be tested by you. Of course, you should only use things that you both agree with. Otherwise you will not only kill your desire, but probably also your relationship.

#### 11. Surprise each other

Provide surprises in your everyday life. This can be small gifts or even a note with a suggestive message. You can also surprise your partner with a romantic dinner. The important thing is to create variety and new input.

*Your sex life has fallen asleep and you don't know what to do or are afraid to bring it up? Talk to one of our coaches about it. If you'd like, you can also check out our "Lust & Desire" learning journey - where you'll learn about yourself and your lust.*

Sources: Wilkie, Neil: How to Spice up Your Sex Life. In: The Positive Psychology People, 2020.

Stillmann Berger, Sara: Spice Up Your Sex Life With These Tricks Experts Say Actually Work. In: Oprah Daily. 2019.

Sex is and remains essential for our mental and physical health. These tips will help spice it up.

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Sexy time! With these 11 tips you can spice up your sex life