**Knowing the difference between emotions and feelings can help us get to know ourselves better. To do this, we turn the wheel of emotions together.**

Actually, the evening was nice. Candlelight, favorite pasta, closing time, later going to a bar together - everything perfect! After dinner, Anna and Tom snuggled up on the couch, tightly embraced. But then - out of nowhere - Anna got angry. And that's what Tom got.

She snapped at him: "This is mega uncomfortable! I can't kiss you relaxed like this!". Tom was perplexed. Anna got up, started cleaning up the apartment. She muttered, "Now the evening is over anyway. No need to go out now, either." Tom, who had heard the remark, approached her cautiously, "Are you okay? Is there anything I can do for you?" "No. And you know it."

Finally, Tom moved off by himself, wanting to give Anna and the whole situation some space. Anna went into the bathroom and brushed her teeth. When she looked in the mirror, she saw the bags under her eyes and realized with a start how damn tired she was. Then she thought about Tom and that she would actually prefer to lie comfortably on the couch with him right now.

Then came the guilty conscience: Actually, Tom couldn't help it. But she couldn't explain to herself exactly what had happened. She couldn't really classify her emotions.

## The difference between emotions and feelings

To understand what is going on with Anna, we first need to clarify the difference between emotions and feelings. The (basic) emotions according to Paul Ekman include joy, surprise, anger, sadness, fear and disgust. They sit a little deeper within us and are sometimes not so easy to recognize. Often they come to the surface as feelings. For example, when we react to a situation in an excited, ashamed, silly or even aggressive way, as was the case with Anna. Her basic emotion behind it was actually anger.

Let's take another look at Anna's situation.

*How would Anna describe her feelings today?

It feels like an emotional hangover, yesterday it was way too many emotions at once and today she has a headache. She feels vulnerable and uncomfortable.

*How did she react to feeling this way now?*

She has reacted angrily, bitterly, confused and judgmentally.

*How could she have reacted differently? What could she say to Tom now?*

Anna could have told Tom that she feels emotionally lost and scared. That behind this lies her fear of doing something wrong with the person she loves and also wants a future with.

She might tell Tom that she wishes she had stayed calmer and not become aggressive toward him. She is sorry that she took her anger out on him.

## Interactive: The Wheel of Emotions

If you too feel that your emotions are out of balance, feel free to look at them together.

Are you with me? Then let's start with an exercise. Sit down and take a deep breath. Breathe out loud. Then ask yourself the following questions:

- *How would you describe what you are feeling right now?
- *What have you done recently to make you feel the way you feel?*
- *In hindsight, would you rather have reacted differently?*

Now write it all down.

Now we'll work on restoring emotional balance in you.

*Where in your body do you feel the emotion?

Close your eyes and listen to yourself.

If you have a hard time finding the feeling, focus on each part of your body, one at a time. Start with your head, then move to your forehead, across your face, neck, shoulders, upper arms, chest slowly down until you find the place of your feeling.

Now let's find out together what feeling gives you the emotion. Is there a word that describes the way you feel? If you're having trouble, check out the Emotion Wheel. It was developed by Dr. Gloria Willcox.

Willcox has taken the four basic emotions of sadness, anger, fear and joy as the basis for her wheel of emotions. However, she has further divided "joy" into the moods *peaceful*, *energized*, and *joyful*, which then form a balance between more pleasant and more unpleasant feelings with *sad*, *angry*, and *fearful*. So these emotions form the core of the wheel.

On the outside, the core emotions are color-coded with associated feelings. So if you don't know exactly how you're feeling right now, you can scan the outer ring for your feeling. From there, you then move inward to get to your core emotion.

![Emotion Wheel EN logo.en.png](https://dearest-content-storage.fra1.digitaloceanspaces.com/Emotion_Wheel_EN_logo_en_2aac428b64.png)


It may well be that the classification of your feelings does not work right away. But that does not matter. You can repeat this exercise as many times as you like and come back here again and again. If you liked this exercise, write that down too - it will help you later when you look at it again.

In time, however, you will see that it makes you stronger and happier when you can properly categorize your feelings instead of being overwhelmed by them. Because when you get to know your feelings better, you also get to know yourself better. And the better you know yourself, the better you will be able to face other people. So you will be able to open your heart to others, gain confidence, and go through life healthier.

*Would you like to get to know yourself and your feelings better, but are still afraid of the chaos? Then book a trial session with one of our coaches today! Together we are sure to make progress.*

If you know the difference between feelings and emotions, you can gain better access to your emotional world. This is where the Wheel of Emotions comes in. 

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The wheel of emotions: How to know your feelings