**Relationships change. The different stages of love can be divided into five stations. How we can move from the first infatuation to a long-term relationship.

*Disclaimer: The following text is about the classic couple relationship. Alternative relationship designs are explicitly not excluded by this. Rather, it is about tracing how relationships often develop.

Svenja is insecure. The tingling she had in her stomach just a few days ago has disappeared. No question, she is still happy when she sees Markus. But something is suddenly missing. She wonders what has happened.

### Relationships evolve - and that's a good thing

Without Svenja realizing it right away, their relationship has evolved. At some point, her body stopped releasing hormones like crazy to recover from all the tummy tingling. That's necessary for survival, by the way. Because in the long run, no person in the world would be able to stand being in love forever.

## The five stages of development in a relationship

#### 1. Honey Moon - A body in a frenzy

The first phase of a relationship is like a rush for the body. It releases dopamine, endorphins and adrenaline, the newly in love can hardly keep their hands off each other and often only leave the bed to get food and drinks. At the same time, both show themselves from their best side. After all, no one wants to make a bad impression while he or she is floating in seventh heaven.

#### 2. Getting together: Things get more serious

When tempers have cooled a bit, people in a relationship get closer. They often then tell others that they are now "together" and refer to the other person or people as "boyfriend" or "girlfriend." This is the opportunity for the infatuation to give way to a deeper connection, and it is often in this phase that it is decided whether the relationship will last for a long time or whether they will part ways again. Thus, the organization of the common everyday life slowly becomes the center of attention. This can sometimes lead to negotiations: What rules or agreements need to be made so that being together works?

#### 3. Disillusionment and trial of strength: Reality becomes clear

In phase three of a relationship, we take off our rose-colored glasses. What we see then may not be quite as flattering as in phase one. Differences can arise and opinions rub up against each other. But that is not a bad thing! Because differences and dealing with them is an important point to keep a relationship healthy. After all, differences are important and part of being human. The first reaction to differences is often to try to resolve them or to ignore them. But this cannot work in the long run. Because dealing with them is the central task in any relationship. By dealing with our differences, we learn new things about our loved ones. They give us the chance to grow from them and expand our horizons.

#### 4. Bonding: Now it gets more serious...

... of course, it can still be funny. Nevertheless: In the fourth phase, people decide for each other. Here they decide to accept possible flaws, peculiarities and quirks of the other person. Together they face and overcome difficulties. Love strengthens and becomes a bond that is increasingly difficult to sever.

#### 5. Co-creation in a strong team

After people have overcome some difficulties in a relationship, they have come to trust each other and become a sworn team. This does not mean that there are no more difficulties, only that ideally they can be handled better. It also doesn't have to be the case that all issues or differences have been negotiated or that a compromise is on the table for all issues. Because not everything can be solved in the head - it is also enough to accept some things and live with them. This combination of mutual support and goodwill towards his or her beloved is ultimately what lays a foundation for a loving and long-term fulfilling partnership.

Back to Svenja - how can she deal with her situation? If she is ready to enter a new phase in a relationship and can accept that her body is no longer rushing in the fast lane, she can rejoice. Because now, together with Markus, she has the opportunity to get to know and love herself and him in a whole new way.

*You are stuck in a relationship phase and don't know what to do? Your partner can't accept that the world looks different without rose-colored glasses? Let's talk about it! Book a session with one of our coaches today!

Relationships change - and that's a good thing. Those who know the different phases of a relationship also learn to understand love better. 

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Stations of Love - How Relationships Change