**When couples who are friends break up, this also has an effect on their environment. Especially friends who are friends with both partners have to cope with the new situation. If we keep a few things in mind, we will also get through the separation as friends.**

Whether you can believe it or not, a couple who are friends has broken up. Maybe you saw it coming a long time ago, maybe the breakup caught you off guard. In any case, there's little you can do about it, and you'll have to come to terms with the situation. With our tips, you can help your friends without losing either one of them.

#### 1. Respond to Needs

Try to respond to the needs of the other person. The important thing is not to project your own experiences onto the other person. Because a certain mechanism for dealing with breakups has worked for you doesn't necessarily mean it will work for others. Rather, try to ask what your counterpart needs right now.

#### 2. Try Not to Take Sides

This is especially true if you are friends with both former partners and want to remain so. It may well happen that one of the two people tries to get you on her side. Make it clear to her that you are there for her, but that the friendship with the ex-partner is also important to you.

But the following also applies: Putting the blame on someone and talking badly about a person uses up too much energy. You need this energy, especially during a breakup, to move on and to grieve.

#### 3. Do Not Drown Your Sorrows

It can be tempting to get high together with your friend:in. It may feel right in the short term. But in the long run, it won't change the situation. On the contrary, grieving hungover is even more stressful.

#### 4. Create a Safe Space

When a friend is going through a breakup, it's important that he or she feels safe to turn to you. If you can offer a safe space, it helps a lot. This doesn't have to be a specific physical place. But rather a mental space that is characterized by empathy and affection rather than judgment and prejudice.

#### 5. Show Understanding

To make the mental safe space comfortable for separated ex-partners, it is important to show understanding. This is not so much about understanding the tangled web of relationships. It is more important to understand and appreciate the other person's feelings. In this way, you give the other person the feeling of being understood.

#### 6. Leave Space

Sometimes just letting someone know you are there is enough. Someone may want to be alone with their pain. Even though you may lack understanding, accept that desire and take time to deal with your own feelings.

#### 7. Set Impulses

To get through breakups in a healthy way, it helps to focus on your own preferences, desires and goals. In conversations, you could help your significant other figure out what makes him or her tick as a person *without* being in a partnership. Watch your favorite movie together, eat your favorite food, or listen to the other person's favorite band.

#### 8. Take Care of Little Things.

The [grieving process](https://app.hellodearest.io/de/article/die-fuenf-phasen-der-trauer-nach-einer-trennung) can take a lot of energy. There are people who are so busy with the process that they forget about the little things in life: Cooking, cleaning up, answering mail, or keeping appointments. This is where you can help your friend(s) get everything done that there isn't room for in their head right now.

*Your friend is going through a breakup and you are overwhelmed with the situation? You are going through a breakup yourself and can't handle it? Book a session with one of our coaches. Let's work on it together!*

Separations are always painful. How can we stand by as friends in these times?

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At some point, it's over: 8 tips to help newly separated people.