**Healthy sexual confidence is closely related to sexual satisfaction and overall well-being. What it is and how you can promote it.**

## What is sexual self-confidence?

Sexual self-confidence is the way we perceive our bodies and our satisfaction and confidence in relating to others and ourselves sexually. Sexual well-being impacts many areas of our lives. This is because our sexuality is a complicated box made up of different aspects of all our life areas.

Sex therapist Gila Shapiro writes about this:

> "Sexuality is a multi-dimensional, complex mix of physiological, interpersonal, cultural, emotional, and psychological factors."

In short, almost all of our lives affect our sexuality and our sexuality affects all of our lives. And the way we deal with it also affects our sexual confidence. High time to get to know it.

## How to get to know your sexual self-confidence

We'll start with your body: do you feel comfortable in it? Are there any parts of it that you don't like so much? If you like, try a body scan. Mentally go through all parts of your body and feel inside, from your feet to your head. Do you find any parts of your body that you have difficulty with during your body journey? Write them down and try to figure out what your difficulty is with that body part. Shapiro recommends then looking closely at who determines what the rules are for that body part. Is it the looks of others or is it your own desire that your belly, legs or feet must conform to a certain idea?

Another step in learning about your sexual confidence is to explore your sex narrative. This is the way you talk about sex, or perhaps don't. Consider: (How) was sex talked about in your family when you were a child? How has that affected your own way of talking about sex? Maybe this will be difficult for you at first and fraught with shame. But the great thing is, it's up to you to rewrite that story. Don't be afraid to confront it.

To get to know your sexual self-confidence and, above all, to strengthen it, it also helps to talk about the sex you have. Ask your partners if they like what you do and tell them if you like what they do. This will help you get to know yourself and your feelings better. As Gila Shapiro notes, all of these techniques are also about the question: What does sex mean to me? Because sex doesn't mean the same thing to everyone. Sex can be about human connection, about power, about love, about liberation, and many other things. When we learn to talk about it, we also find out what sex means to us.

We can also grow in relationships when we know and strengthen our sexual self-awareness. If you have a partner and you are not satisfied with your sex, it may have to do with your sexual self-confidence. Then it's important to address the issue together. For example, by talking about it in a safe setting or exploring your sexual [sexual self](https://app.hellodearest.io/article/shameless-sex-learn-to-love-your-sexual-self) together. After all, you're both in this together.

*Do you find such conversations difficult or ashamed? Feel free to look around our magazine a bit or explore one of our learning journeys, for example, the learning journey ["Lust and Desire"](https://dearest.page.link/?utm_campaign=banner&sd=Sexualit%C3%A4t%20%26%20Verlangen%20sind%20Teil%20unserer%20Identit%C3%A4t.%20Lass%20uns%20mehr%20%C3%BCber%20dein%20sexuelles%20Selbst%20herausfinden.&si=https%3A%2F%2Fdearest-content-storage.fra1.digitaloceanspaces.com%2Fjourney_3_6fb98435dd.png&st=Lust%20%26%20Verlangen&apn=io.hellodearest.dearest&ibi=io.hellodearest.dearest&isi=1583462259&link=https%3A%2F%2Fapp.hellodearest.io%2Fjourney%2Flust-and-verlangen). You are also welcome to talk to one of our coaches about your sexual confidence. We look forward to meeting you!*

Gila Shapiro: Sexual Self-Esteem: A Short Course. In: HuffPost Contributor Platform. 2016

If you get to know your sexual self-confidence, you can strengthen it. And then the sex will also be better.

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Sexual confidence and how to strengthen it