**"I love you" is music for the ears. Especially the first time, when you return the feelings, they can be the most beautiful words ever. But when is the right time to confess love?**

Hearing "I love you" is something special. Three magical words that, when combined, convey a great feeling. Words that can warm from the inside and words that any:r loves to hear. But the big question is: when is the right time to say "I love you" for the first time?

## I love you: is there a perfect time?

No question, many people have racked their brains over this topic. So has Israeli philosopher Aaron Ben-Ze'ev. In "The arc of love: How our romantic lives change over time," the scholar lists the most common advice for the right time to say "I love you."

- Wait until you've had at least five dates
- Don't say it for at least two months after you've met
- Don't wait too long
- Wait until you can't help it
- Don't say it before, during, or after sex
- Don't say it if you are very emotional at the time
- Don't say it if you want to reward the other person for doing something.

This can all be good or not so good advice, depending on the person and the situation. However, the right time to say "I love you" is different for every relationship, Ben-Ze'ev concludes.

There are people who fall in love quickly and just as quickly have the urge to confess their love. Likewise, there are people who prefer to take their time and explore their feelings in peace before saying anything. And both are perfectly fine.

That's why our tip: If you've met someone and you feel like you're developing feelings for the other person, tell them in a quiet moment. Feel your way slowly and see how the other person reacts. You don't have to come right out and say it. Telling a person that you find them attractive, that you like them, and that you enjoy spending time with them can go a long way.

If you want to confess your love, be aware of your intentions before you do so. If you say it only to hear it from the other person, you may put them under pressure. Be aware that the other person may not be ready or may not reciprocate your feelings. It is good to expect both and to be able to accept both.

Because love develops differently for all people. So the right time to say "I love you" can also be different for each person. It is important that when you love the other person, you also give them the time and space for love to develop. Ben-Ze'ev points to an interesting study in this context. According to it, men in male-female relationships tended to be the first to say "I love you." On average, they declared their love 42 days earlier than women. They also felt certain about their feelings after an average of just three weeks. Women, on the other hand, said it took several months before they were sure about their feelings. 

## Saying "I love you" for the first time: here's what to look out for.

If you feel the need to know if the other person loves you and has feelings for you, pay attention to what they say and do. That's because love, Ben-Ze'ev says, shows up not only in the three "magic words," but also in gestures and the way you communicate with each other. Deep affection can also be expressed in making the other person a sack lunch or giving a gift that fits their needs exactly.

When you decide to say "I love you," you should avoid adding comparisons to your confession of love. Avoid saying things like "you are the love of my life" or "I love you like no one else". Because that puts pressure on things. And every love is different, just as every relationship is.

Some people have more difficulty talking about their feelings than others. This may be because, for example, they are not used to it or have not learned it. There are families in which the members express their affection every day. But there are also families where this happens very rarely or never. So there is no need to worry if your counterpart does not show his/her feelings as quickly as you do from the beginning.

Also, it is important to know that love takes time to develop. It can be a long road from initial infatuation to deep love. Pressuring yourself and/or the other:n to feel the great deep love is counterproductive.

*You would like to confess your feelings, but just don't dare? Someone told you he or she loves you, but you don't know how to handle it? Let's talk about it! Book a session with one of our coaches today.*

*Source:* Aaron Ben-Ze'ev: "The arc of love: How our romantic lives change over time".

Saying "I love you" is music to the ears. But how do we find the right time for the first declaration of love?

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"I love you" - When is the right time to say the magic words?