**Authenticity, or the quality of being authentic, makes people likeable. Especially because they give us the feeling of being "real. But what that means exactly is not always entirely clear.**

## What is authenticity?

The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy suggests two meanings for authenticity. To be authentic can mean either to be "of indisputable origin or authorship" or to "correspond to an original" or to be a reliable representation. Put more simply and in terms of persons: Persons who behave as they actually are are authentic. He or she is "real" and corresponds to his or her self without pretending.

Now one may rightly ask: What does that mean? How can one be genuine? How can one correspond to something that one may not even know what it is? And, perhaps the most important question in this context: Is it always necessary and possible to be genuine?

## How can we make authenticity possible?

In order to get close to who we really are, it is helpful to look at our own wants and needs. This is because authenticity requires reflection. When we engage with ourselves, we can also give other people the opportunity to share in our inner lives.

Feeling authentic ourselves also has a direct impact on our psychological well-being. According to a 2017 study, people who are authentic are fundamentally happier.

In particular, the consequences of loneliness, which can include depressive moods and anxiety disorders, are said to be less pronounced when people feel they are authentic. According to U.S. psychologist Stephen Joseph, this is related to the fact that authentic people tend to recognize symptoms of illness earlier and act on them. So authenticity also means having better access to oneself. In this case, people are also more inclined to seek help earlier in emergencies or to recognize self-destructive behavior early.

## What does it mean to be authentic?

A person who is authentic behaves in a way that meets their own needs, ideals, or even beliefs. And not those that are imposed from the outside or by others.

But this also means that we cannot always be authentic. If, for example, it corresponds to one's own ideals to always move through the world barefoot and without a top, this can be liberating within one's own four walls. In the subway, in the office, in restaurants or in the carpenter's shop, however, it could lead to problems.

Because authenticity can always collide with social norms and moral concepts. In other words: sometimes it can be advisable to adapt to the ideas of others. Or at least to come closer, so as not to invade other people's comfort zone or privacy. In this context, sociology also speaks of "social roles." We take on different roles in different environments. At work as employee:in, at school as student:in or in a love relationship as partner:in. While the first two social roles mentioned can mean restrictions or adjustments with regard to authenticity every now and then, it looks already different in the social role as partner:in.

## The role of authenticity in relationships

Being authentic often means making yourself vulnerable. When you openly communicate your honest thoughts, feelings, and ideas, you show what makes you tick as a person. That's why it's tempting for many to overplay their own ego and perhaps take on roles that don't do them any good. But those who dare to take the step of being authentic in relationships, whether in friendships or in love relationships, also show their counterpart that trust is there.

In addition, people who deal with themselves tend to be able to solve conflicts better. Instead of blaming problems on the other person, they deal with unpleasant feelings such as sadness, fear or anger and have easier access to their origins. This is much more difficult with people who are not authentic or who perhaps lack the necessary self-confidence.

*If you would like some practical tips on how to bring more authenticity into your relationships, you can find out [here](https://app.hellodearest.io/article/really-together-5-tips-for-more-authenticity-in-relationships). You are also welcome to book an appointment with one of our coaches and get some advice tailored to your needs. We look forward to meeting you!*

Sources

Bryan, J. L., Baker, Z. G., & Tou, R. Y. (2017). Prevent the blue, be true to you: Authenticity buffers the negative impact of loneliness on alcohol-related problems, physical symptoms, and depressive and anxiety symptoms. Journal of health psychology, 22(5), 605-616.

Goffman, Erving: *The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life.* Doubleday & Company, New York 1959.

Authenticity, or the art of being authentic or even "real," can improve the quality of our relationships and our well-being. But what does that mean?

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Authenticity - What does "real" mean?