‍**Interpersonal synchronisation ensures that people's heartbeats and breathing rhythms align. But it seems it also helps with pain.**

One of Marla's earliest childhood memories is reaching for her mother's hand as they walk home together during nightfall. She cannot remember where they were before, nor what day it was, let alone her age. She remembers that she had been crying before, probably she had fallen down. But she doesn't remember that either. It is the feeling she had gotten when she took her mother's hand that stayed with her. The pain of the fall had disappeared, what remained was a comforting blanket of security that spread through her.

**Interpersonal Synchronisation: Ancient Power Rediscovered**
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Even today, almost 20 years later, Marla instinctively reaches for the hand of someone close to her to calm herself down. And even if she feels bad when she is lying in bed with a headache, she holds her partner's hand and notices: it relieves the pain a little.

What happens when we hold hands is called interpersonal synchronisation in research. A [study](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29091537/) by Koben et al. (2017) found that when couples hold hands, their heartbeat and breathing rhythm align. And with startling results. In the experiments, it became clear that holding hands can even relieve pain. For example, when one partner experienced pain, the simultaneity of the heartbeat and breathing rhythm was interrupted. However, as soon as the two held hands again, they synchronised again - and the pain went away!

Another [study](https://www.pnas.org/content/115/11/E2528) by Pavel Goldstein et al. considers two possible explanations for this analgesic (pain-relieving) effect of interpersonal synchronisation. One is based on the assumption that interpersonal synchronisation causes the brains to couple with each other; in other words, they "click". The person in pain feels understood, reward mechanisms kick in and the pain becomes a little easier to bear. The other explanation would be that we mirror people we are with on a physical level. So through touch we show and feel compassion. The saying has long been: "A sorrow shared is a sorrow halved"!

Of course, this does not only apply to couples, but rather to compassion, empathy. And the stronger this "feeling into" other people is, the stronger the pain-relieving effect of touch.

So when it hurts again with your beloved: take heart and grab a hand!
‍

Holding hands helps with interpersonal communication. The heartbeat and breathing rhythm synchronises and can help relieve pain.

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Holding hands and the power of interpersonal synchronisation