‍**Acceptance is one of the pillars of resilience. How can we learn to strengthen it?**

In order to learn to accept things, we must first learn to distinguish: What is desire and what is reality?

When we are going through a break-up, for example, we may wish for the past, more beautiful days to return. But the reality is different. The relationship has ended, there is no way around that. When we have distinguished between these two states, we have taken the first step towards acceptance.

When is it time for acceptance?
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But especially when people are struggling through the various phases of a break-up, they tend to see things somewhat irrationally.

If you are in such a phase yourself and desperately want your relationship back, ask yourself the following questions:

*   Is there any scenario in which you and your ex could live together? If so, how realistic is this scenario?
*   Imagine you were an outsider and you could give yourself a tip: What would it look like?
*   Do you spend a lot of time on past things at the moment?
*   Would it be better for your physical and mental health if you accepted things as they are?

If you answer these questions honestly and in detail, you will quickly find out whether it is time to accept things.

Accepting separation: An exercise
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Now go out into the countryside or move around the place where you live. Collect a leaf from a tree, a bush or something similar. Now imagine that the leaf symbolises your relationship and hold it tightly in your hand. Enclose it, feel it and become aware of what you are holding. Now find a high point, preferably a bridge, perhaps a hill or a vantage point. Hold the leaf a little longer and let it fall at some point. Watch it fall. Accept that it will disappear. Try to smile as the leaf now goes its own way. Go home.

When you are at home, think of the leaf and think of your relationship. You have managed to let them both go a little. They are still there in your memory and may stay there. But now it is time for you to devote yourself to other things. It will be worth it!

You just can't accept that your relationship is over, no matter how many leaves you throw from the lighthouse in your city? Book a trial session with one of our coaches and let's talk about it!

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In phases of separation, it can be very difficult to accept the situation. But it is precisely then that we should learn acceptance in order to strengthen our resilience. How does this work?

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Acceptance: How to strengthen our resilience