**Even though they may seem to be different things at first glance, death and a relationship breakdown have something in common. Both trigger feelings of powerlessness, deep grief and despair. How we deal with these two painful events is also very similar: research divides the grieving process into five phases.**

_Disclaimer: The following five stages of grief may occur simultaneously or alternately, it may also be that some stages occur much more weakly than others. Every mourning process is different.._

1.  Displacement

When the first shock of losing a loved one occurs, many people initially freeze. They suddenly become numb or cannot perceive what is happening. Repression as the first phase helps to ensure that grief does not consume us, that we can still function.

If you are in this phase yourself, you might notice that you can't quite grasp everything that is happening yet. And that's okay, it protects you! Be glad that your body and your brain are reacting this way, then the grief won't come over you with full force. But you will soon notice that this phase is slowly diminishing. And make room for the feelings that are yet to come.

2.  Anger

Anger is also a typical and, for many, necessary emotion in the grieving process. If you are angry: allow it and let it out! Because the more you allow it and surrender to your feelings, the faster you can heal. Because underneath the anger lies the pain somewhere, and that's what it's all about in the end. It may well happen that you feel at the mercy of the anger phase and that the anger seems uncontrollable. This is also normal and can happen to anyone in the mourning phase. Ultimately, the strength of this feeling only shows how much the lost person meant to you.

3.  Negotiation

And suddenly the haggling starts. In the grieving phase of negotiation, people start offering deals. At the death of a loved one, they may turn to God - even though they are not even believers: "Why don't you let my friend live a little while longer, and I'll never do anything bad again!". Even in a relationship that has ended for good, negotiations may begin: "Please, give me one last chance - I'll never cheat again either!" Perhaps those affected by the loss also begin to lay cards or study constellations.

But this is also completely normal, a healthy step in the five phases of grief. After all, this is where people ultimately try to negotiate with the pain, usually unconsciously. Only by striking a good deal now, your own mind suggests, can you stop the loss.

If you're in this phase yourself, accept it - it will pass and help your heart heal.

Five stages of grief: from despair to acceptance
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4.  Despair

Sooner or later, despair sets in. The loss of the partner suddenly becomes real and the emptiness spreads. It now seems as if nothing in life makes sense any more, as if there is no joy in life.

And even though it may not feel like it: despair is also a healthy and important reaction to loss. The onset of despair is a sign that the loss is slowly becoming real and that we can start on the path to healing.

5.  Acceptance

Acceptance usually comes last in the grieving process. But accepting the loss does not mean that everything is okay from now on. It only means that we can accept the loss and begin to live with it. There are losses that we carry in our hearts for a lifetime - and that's okay!

There is now a new reality of life in which we have to find our way. And, as painful as it may be, without the other person. If you want to learn more about how to deal with the end of a relationship in a healthy way, check out this article.

Are you struggling with a break-up and don't know how to deal with it? Book a free consultation with one of our coaches today!

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Relationship end: The five stages of grief in the loss or death of a loved one are similar to the process that takes place in a break-up.

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The five stages of grief after a break-up