Svenja is newly in love. She feels like she has finally found the man for life. She beams all day and tells everyone how happy she is. Markus here, Markus there - for her, the whole of life is a big pink cloud that looks like a bouquet of rainbows.

In fact, most of us feel early love just like Svenja.

What happens in our body is first of all biochemistry: it reacts to being in love as it does to mortal danger, to fear or to drug intoxication. That is not sustainable in the long run.

*   Total intoxication ⬆️ Dopamine, endorphin and adrenaline.
*   Decreasing balance and inner peace ⬇️ Serotonin.

Every summer has to give way to autumn at some point. Svenja and Markus have been inseparable for almost 4 months now. And slowly Svenja wonders whether Markus is really the right one. That tingling sensation is gone, he constantly leaves the toilet seat up and the sex is no longer as passionate. The feeling of being in love is simply no longer there.

### What's going on?

Svenja's reaction is necessary for survival. **Because the infatuation must inevitably subside, as it is dangerous for the body in the long run.**

Adrenaline is the substance that signals to the body that we are in love, but also that we are in danger. The body must calm this state of emergency in order to live healthily and for a long time.

*   Endorphin and adrenaline junkies might see now as the time to end the relationship. The butterfly chase continues.
*   The relationship long-stretchers rejoice at this time because they feel that love is now beginning.

### Love = security and common satisfaction ❤️

Love is a feeling of arrival and security. Everything no longer feels strange, exciting and new, but routine and safe. This state is pleasant, reassuring and affirming.

*   Inner peace sets in ⬆️ serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin.
*   The euphoria wears off ⬇️ Endorphin and adrenaline.

What is important for you, everyone has to learn for themselves. What is certain, however, is that the infatuation cannot last longer than a few months, otherwise it becomes dangerous. If you don't want to and can't come to terms with this thought, it can help to take a different look at the relationship. Before Svenja throws everything away now, she can ask herself:

*   How do I feel when I am with Markus?
*   Are my needs being met in this relationship?
*  Can I be myself?

Love vs. being in love: What is the difference? Why it is important that being in love eventually fades and makes room for "real" love.

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Love vs. being in love